We spend most of our time here at Zooglobble talking about the good stuff, in part because there's a lot of it and why spend too much time talking about the bad, y'know?
I present to you the self-titled song from "The Fishy Wishies."
The ears, they bleed, right?
OK, this is really the brainchild (if something that bad deserves the title of "brainchild") of Cory Cullinan, AKA Doctor Noize, who sent me this mp3 along with the following note:
Several years ago, before officially entering the world of children's music as Doctor Noize, I spent many hours of research and a whole afternoon recording what I call "The Most Annoying Children's Song In The Universe."I have to say, it's just about everything that led me to start this website (or at least, the inverse thereof).
My process was this: I wrote down every single thing I found repulsive about children's entertainment, from cloyingly manufactured multicultural characters, to product placements, to cheesy synth and vocal sounds, to righteous moralizing that made me want to beat the characters with a bat. Then I spent at least a whole hour incorporating all of those elements into one song by a fictional children's band I entitled "The Fishy Wishies." Then I spent the rest of the afternoon recording it. I felt I needed to do this before officially entering the world of children's music.
It is also, unfortunately, still the stereotype a lot of people have about kids and family music, in part because for a lot of kids and family music it's really not a stereotype -- it's pretty much true (albeit with much higher production values). You could probably find most of the offenders in places on a daily TV schedule.
So think of this as a aural palate cleanser. A painful one, perhaps, but a reminder of how much different your daily musical life could be...